After spending the whole day feeling tired, depressed, anxious, hopeless, and unmotivated, two things helped me go to sleep feeling happy, at ease, and ready for another day.
Friends and Yoga
When I see people who I haven’t seen in a while, it can go a lot of ways. Yesterday, I saw several former colleagues/friends and all it did was make me smile and laugh. Some of us are in the same place, most of us have moved on, but all of us were genuinely happy to see each other. We were treated to champagne and lovely hors d’oeuvres and chatted about family, jobs, and vacations.
Yoga felt so perfect last night. I led a practice full of heart openers. We shined our heart light to those who are suffering from the unspeakable tragedies of the past several days. Everyone seemed to move as one, exactly the way I had intended. I’d like to believe we did our small part in healing some of the wounds.
I ended with these words last night. Please let the whole world feel this.
Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.
Peace. Peace. Peace.
I honor you in the place in which the whole universe dwells.
I honor you in the place of love, light, peace, and truth.
I hope my boss at Ocean Yoga Center doesn’t mind that I posted this on the bulletin board at the studio tonight. Last week, we worked on our heart chakra, so Emma wanted to contribute. Don’t you just love the big, wide, boxy body? Lots of room for love to flow!
Have I told you lately that I love you, yoga? I really, truly do. My two most recent classes came with proud teaching moments.
One of my new students at Dancing Warrior Yoga has hyper-extended elbows. She puts a great deal of strain on those muscles and tendons when in table, downward dog, and plank, to name a few. I taught her to micro-bend her elbows to strengthen the support and relieve the strain. She’s been taking yoga for four years and said that no teacher had ever pointed that out before. She was grateful for that simple modification.
Last week, at Ocean Yoga Center, I worked on lengthening the spine, relaxing the shoulders, and opening the heart in mountain pose. We often round our shoulders and ‘slump’ in our daily lives. This can lead to back pain, digestive issues, and headaches. One of my students thanked me this week for showing her this method. She said that it makes a big difference and has enjoyed practicing her new lengthened and lifted spine.
This motherhood thing is pretty mind-boggling. Most of the time, I feel like a schizophrenic. One minute, I’m gazing at her lovingly, wondering what I ever did to deserve such a perfect human being in my life. The next minute, she is releasing the most blood curdling scream because I won’t give her a popsicle. And I’m wondering if there’s any wine in the fridge. It’s only 7 am.
Some days, I find myself making excuses every five minutes…”I’m sorry honey, mommy’s too tired…I really can’t baby, maybe later…not this time, maybe tomorrow…no, sweetheart, we don’t eat candy for breakfast…sorry, she’s probably not home right now…please don’t climb on me; I’m not a tree…”
The energy level of this kid has got to be something for the record books. She never stops. Really. Never.
But here’s the thing. I love this child to no end. Can I imagine my life without her? Not for a second. She couldn’t be more perfect if she tried. No, I don’t spoil my child and I don’t give her whatever she wants. But I do know how full my heart and my life are because of her. I know how long I waited for her to come into my life. I know how truly blessed I am.
So, now and for years to come, yes, dear, you can scream at me all you want.