Tag Archives: Parents

behind the scenes

Behind the Scenes of My Depression and Anxiety

Luckily, I’m one of those people who has no problem giving others a behind the scenes look at my life with depression and anxiety. In fact, I get a kick out of revealing how it all started. There’s no doubt that I had it in my genes long before, but this one life-changing event triggered it. My grandmother, father, and all three of my brothers live/lived with it as well. We all handled it differently. Some with unconventional means and some with the proper channels of therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. Either way, we’ve all survived. Grandma lived a long, happy life and we have fond memories of her sense of humor, generosity, love, and yummy midnight snacks.

For me, it started in the fall of 1986. I was just starting my second year of college at age 19. Sure, I considered myself an adult, but I was soon to find out that I was still just a teenager with a strong connection to my parents. I was in the “cool” dorm bunking with two friends. Over the summer, I had started dating a Marine, in a long-distance relationship. (Bad idea.) I was ready for an amazing year.

My parents called with the bombshell.

They were moving from my childhood home in Virginia (90 miles from college) to Newport Beach, California (about 3000 miles). And here’s the kicker…they assumed I would just move with them. In hindsight, maybe I should have. But, no. I was a mature young adult. I was in college. I had friends. I was deciding on my major. I was having a great time. And, of course, I had a boyfriend. After many arguments, they let me stay. And they bought me a car.

And that’s when the proverbial shit hit the fan.

Almost immediately, the depression and anxiety set in. I found myself crying all the time and a lot of mornings, unable to get out of bed. And guess who I called. My parents. Rightfully so, they had one answer…move to California. I still wouldn’t do it. I was determined to ride this out on my own. So, I did that. With lots of drinking and partying. Somehow I managed to get to class and dance rehearsals. Don’t really know how. I’m sure my dance program was a good outlet for the way I was feeling.

And what the heck was I feeling? Sad? Angry? Abandoned? Caught off guard? Treated unfairly? To this day, I really don’t know that I can give a label to what I was feeling. It was a physical and emotional attack that came without warning. I believe it was living inside me and had a damn good reason to surface.

The story continues with moves, transfers, break-ups, tons of phone calls, a couple visits to California, psychiatrists, moving in with my sister, more drinking, more partying, more bad relationships, a failed marriage, etc, etc, etc, until the day I had a full-blown panic attack and finally, finally, took this thing seriously and started to turn my life around.

That was in 2001. Fourteen years. I suffered. Just because I was stubborn.

The one saving grace that surely helped me through all of this was the communication with my parents. Yes, we disagreed. Yes, I made decisions that made them cringe. Yes, they wanted grab me up and take me under their care. But they let me find my own way without judgment and with an open line of communication.


An article from Palmer Lake Recovery, Parents Guide: How To Help Your Teen Cope With Mental Health Issues, is an excellent resource. It discusses statistics, warning signs, causes, how to help, and useful resources.

Some ideas from the article that my parents handled well:

“A good starting point for you as a parent is to have a conversation with your teen in a constructive way that is non-confrontational and is focused on offering them the love and support that they may well need more than ever.”

“Your teen needs the sort of parental support that lets them know they are not facing their struggles alone and that you are there to support them through this difficult time. It is equally important that parents also have a support network they can call upon.”

behind the scenes

 

 

giveaway

Giveaway on Shanti Mom For One!

Giveaway on Shanti Mom For One!

giveaway

Oddball is a dog. A really sweet dog. But he’s a dog who gets into a lot of trouble. Until he finds his calling…penguins. “Oddball” is a sweet, loving, and happily ending story for the whole family. The cast of characters, both human and not, are as different from each other as they can be. But somehow they all come together to show that persistence, love, and instincts can solve the toughest problems. We promise you will adore this movie! Enter my giveaway to win the DVD or Digital Copy.

A little more from Entertainment One:

“Oddball is based on the true story of an eccentric chicken farmer, who with the help of his granddaughter, trains his mischievous dog Oddball to protect a penguin sanctuary from fox attacks in an attempt to reunite his family and save their seaside town.”

Thank you to Momentum Pictures for our complimentary CD in exchange for this review and giveaway. Good luck everybody!!


Shanti Mom For One is my main site, through which I connect with other moms looking for a way to transition from a life dominated by the needs of little people to a more balanced existence with peace, joy, and contentment. You can join my Facebook group and be part of the conversation. Moms are amazing. I’ll try to remind you of that every day.

musical

Musical Love Letter in “You’ve Got Me”

Musical Love Letter in “You’ve Got Me” by Sara Lovell…

It comes out tomorrow and you’re going to want it. What an amazing mix between sweet love songs from parent to child and bouncy, upbeat songs to play after making a dance floor in the living room! You can DANCE LIKE THERE’S MUSIC IN YOUR PANTS or sing to somebody you really like, I CAN TELL WE’RE GONNA BE FRIENDS.  When it’s quiet time or the sun has set, enjoy these two adorable ballads: NIGHT NIGHT GOLDEN SUN and AN UNBREAKABLE CORD. 

You can feel the love and adoration between mother and son in Sara’s voice, lyrics, and emotion. Share this musical love letter with your little darlings!

musicalmusical

More from Waldmania PR:

Celebrating the unbreakable connection between parent and child, independent recording artist Sara Lovell takes an adventurous leap forward with her fourth album — her first for kids and families — Youve Got Me, set for release on September 16.

A professional singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist with wide-ranging musical interests and three critically praised albums to her credit, Sara Lovell moved to Berkeley from Los Angeles several years ago with a desire to create a permanent home and become a parent.  She’s now a full-time, single mom of an imaginative six-year-old who loves to paint his face and dance in front of the mirror.

Sara Lovell says, “Youve Got Me is most definitely a love letter to my son, as well as a love letter to other parents and children: to parents who sing and tell stories to their kids and to the children who flourish with joy and creativity.”

With a vividly perceptive eye, a vast musical landscape, and a voice rich in both purity and nuanced detail, Youve Got Me follows a day in the life of a child, beginning with a song to rouse even the sleepiest sleepyhead and concluding with a reflective lullaby as the sun goes down.

Furry alligator puppies, runaway socks, musical skeletons and flying ships are just a few of the wonders to be encountered in Sara Lovell’s fanciful world.  With Youve Got Me, it is apparent that Sara is not so much singing to children as she is reporting back with love from a magical landscape she inhabits.

Youve Got Me effortlessly incorporates genres as diverse as ’70s-influenced pop, reggaeton, Afro-Caribbean, klezmer, and lounge.  Album highlights include a great blast of energy on “Dance Like There’s Music In Your Pants,” a deliciously spooky number, “The Skeleton Band,” the driving “I Can’t Wait,” and the Harry Nilsson-esque “Off To Bed We Go.”  Passionate gospel-influenced vocals are featured on the album’s title track, a heartfelt pledge of friendship and love.

Sara Lovell explains, “I’ve been a composer and songwriter for the majority of my life, but I put music-making on hold for a while when I made plans to become a parent. I moved to a new city, renovated my house, set up my recording studio and got on the waiting list for adoption.  My beautiful son came, and for the next four and a half years I hummed and sang little bits and pieces of songs and played one-armed lullabies into my phone recorder.  Slowly more brain cells returned, my son became more independent, I began compiling the song snippets (some for grown-ups, too) and I played a few for my producer, Monica Pasqual.  She suggested I finish one of the kids’ songs first, so I completed ‘Off To Bed We Go,’ and the rest came pouring out!”

Youve Got Me will be available at amazon.com, iTunes, CDBaby, and saralovell.com.

Florida

Florida Needs You on Fundanoodle Friday!

Florida Needs You on Fundanoodle Friday!

We are growing by leaps and bounds throughout the country! Join me in Florida. It’s just little ole me down here.

Fundanoodle wants Ambassadors who are passionate about early education and want to share amazingly innovative products with parents, grandparents, teachers, therapists, and anyone with a little learner in their life.

Fundanoodle is an education readiness program designed by pediatric occupational therapists and elementary school teachers to develop and improve the motor skills needed for success in and out of the classroom.

Visit my site, learn why I am passionate about Fundanoodle, and talk to me about joining my team!

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Push pin map of Fundanoodle Ambassadors
family

Family Fun for TBT

Family Fun for TBT

family

My parents sent me this gem. It is about 1970. We are on our grandparent’s farm in Illinois, which we still enjoy today. From the left…John, Andy, Laura, Bill, and then there’s me. Why do I look so serious?

The slide is rigged so it dumps into the pool. The swing set is set up in the back, I’m sure, so my brothers could jump off the swings into the pool. The chair to the right is probably a make-shift diving board. My brothers were fearless, especially John. Laura was most likely in charge while my parents enjoyed sunning themselves in the distance. It’s a safe bet that one of my brothers splashed me or bothered me in some way. Hence, the look.

We are all (almost) in our 50’s now. We gave our parents seven grandchildren among us. The oldest grandchild is getting married in June. Time marches on. Great memories remain.