Tag Archives: siblings

behind the scenes

Behind the Scenes of My Depression and Anxiety

Luckily, I’m one of those people who has no problem giving others a behind the scenes look at my life with depression and anxiety. In fact, I get a kick out of revealing how it all started. There’s no doubt that I had it in my genes long before, but this one life-changing event triggered it. My grandmother, father, and all three of my brothers live/lived with it as well. We all handled it differently. Some with unconventional means and some with the proper channels of therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. Either way, we’ve all survived. Grandma lived a long, happy life and we have fond memories of her sense of humor, generosity, love, and yummy midnight snacks.

For me, it started in the fall of 1986. I was just starting my second year of college at age 19. Sure, I considered myself an adult, but I was soon to find out that I was still just a teenager with a strong connection to my parents. I was in the “cool” dorm bunking with two friends. Over the summer, I had started dating a Marine, in a long-distance relationship. (Bad idea.) I was ready for an amazing year.

My parents called with the bombshell.

They were moving from my childhood home in Virginia (90 miles from college) to Newport Beach, California (about 3000 miles). And here’s the kicker…they assumed I would just move with them. In hindsight, maybe I should have. But, no. I was a mature young adult. I was in college. I had friends. I was deciding on my major. I was having a great time. And, of course, I had a boyfriend. After many arguments, they let me stay. And they bought me a car.

And that’s when the proverbial shit hit the fan.

Almost immediately, the depression and anxiety set in. I found myself crying all the time and a lot of mornings, unable to get out of bed. And guess who I called. My parents. Rightfully so, they had one answer…move to California. I still wouldn’t do it. I was determined to ride this out on my own. So, I did that. With lots of drinking and partying. Somehow I managed to get to class and dance rehearsals. Don’t really know how. I’m sure my dance program was a good outlet for the way I was feeling.

And what the heck was I feeling? Sad? Angry? Abandoned? Caught off guard? Treated unfairly? To this day, I really don’t know that I can give a label to what I was feeling. It was a physical and emotional attack that came without warning. I believe it was living inside me and had a damn good reason to surface.

The story continues with moves, transfers, break-ups, tons of phone calls, a couple visits to California, psychiatrists, moving in with my sister, more drinking, more partying, more bad relationships, a failed marriage, etc, etc, etc, until the day I had a full-blown panic attack and finally, finally, took this thing seriously and started to turn my life around.

That was in 2001. Fourteen years. I suffered. Just because I was stubborn.

The one saving grace that surely helped me through all of this was the communication with my parents. Yes, we disagreed. Yes, I made decisions that made them cringe. Yes, they wanted grab me up and take me under their care. But they let me find my own way without judgment and with an open line of communication.


An article from Palmer Lake Recovery, Parents Guide: How To Help Your Teen Cope With Mental Health Issues, is an excellent resource. It discusses statistics, warning signs, causes, how to help, and useful resources.

Some ideas from the article that my parents handled well:

“A good starting point for you as a parent is to have a conversation with your teen in a constructive way that is non-confrontational and is focused on offering them the love and support that they may well need more than ever.”

“Your teen needs the sort of parental support that lets them know they are not facing their struggles alone and that you are there to support them through this difficult time. It is equally important that parents also have a support network they can call upon.”

behind the scenes

 

 

advice

Good Advice from ‘Mom’s Journey’


Good Advice from ‘Mom’s Journey’

Mom’s Journey: Practical Tips for Raising Kids is a straightforward and honest approach from the author, Limor Friedman, whose experience with motherhood spans more than 18 years. She doesn’t use any psychological babble or scientific research you find in most parenting books. She simply speaks from experience and offers help to those who are in search of it. She doesn’t claim to be right or wrong. She allows the reader to use her take on anything from homework to bullying and then draw their own conclusion within their unique situation.

Thank you to Tomoson and Ebookpro for my complimentary copy in exchange for this review.

advice

 

More information about the book:

Learn to overcome your everyday challenges as a mother with grace!
Raising kids is a challenging task of magnificent repercussions. At the end of the day, your home may look like an intimidating war zone, or it could be a warm nest you can’t wait to come back to. Which one would you choose?
Mom’s Journey shares hundreds of essential tips that pinpoint many of the possible scenarios a mom might encounter, from the labor room to parenting a teenager. The book touches on all aspects of parenthood, walking you through the years and the developments of childhood and parenting, and the challenges they bring forth.
>>>Essential tips for smart and easy parenting.Mom’s Journey was written by a mom who raised three kids in a loving and supporting family environment, while being a wife and a co-owner of a successful business – and without going too crazy in the process. It’s based on real life experience of raising three daughters while balancing marriage and business.
>>>Hundreds of tips on all aspect of parenthood from day 1 to 18 years old.
Raising kids is a task to be managed carefully and thoughtfully. It requires strength and borders on the one hand, as well as softness and caress, on the other. Mom’s Journey is an essential book for any mother who is interested in maintaining a happy, calm and respectful family, where family members are kind to each other, considerate and happy. It shares tips for parenting that does not require raising one’s voice or implementing punishment in order to make a stand.
>>>If you are a mother looking for guidance and advice – this book is for you!

family

Family Fun for TBT

Family Fun for TBT

family

My parents sent me this gem. It is about 1970. We are on our grandparent’s farm in Illinois, which we still enjoy today. From the left…John, Andy, Laura, Bill, and then there’s me. Why do I look so serious?

The slide is rigged so it dumps into the pool. The swing set is set up in the back, I’m sure, so my brothers could jump off the swings into the pool. The chair to the right is probably a make-shift diving board. My brothers were fearless, especially John. Laura was most likely in charge while my parents enjoyed sunning themselves in the distance. It’s a safe bet that one of my brothers splashed me or bothered me in some way. Hence, the look.

We are all (almost) in our 50’s now. We gave our parents seven grandchildren among us. The oldest grandchild is getting married in June. Time marches on. Great memories remain.

rust

Rust for Hugh’s Weekly Photo Challenge

Hugh’s Weekly Photo Challenge: Week 11: Rust

This is an old wheel from our family farm in Illinois. This farm started with my great-grandfather, was handed down to my grandfather, now belongs to my father and his siblings, and someday will be divided among the our five siblings. It is where I go to rejuvenate. It is where I take my daughter a couple times a year to enjoy the open air, hummingbirds, deer, cats, long walks, river, crops, and general good life. The history of this place is astounding. I am proud to call this my second home.

rust

Share Your World

Share Your World

What type of music relaxes you the most or do you prefer silence?

New Age/Zen music relaxes me the most. I have very vivid memories of listening to it all day every day for about two weeks before my wedding.

Show us a two of your favorites photographs?  Explain why they are your favorite.   If you are not a photographer, think of a two favorite scenes in your life and tell us about them.

share your world
My siblings and me, really having fun, late 80’s. We all have such different personalities.
share your world
Looks like it was staged, but it wasn’t. True family photograph.

 

What is your favorite tradition? (family tradition, church tradition, whatever)

My favorite tradition is getting/giving pajamas on Christmas Eve. When my brothers got too old and “cool” to wear pajamas, they started getting underwear. Then it was called “boys’ briefs”, and that has continued on through the next generation. On Christmas Eve, after dinner, you will hear everyone chanting, “boys’ briefs, boys’ briefs, boys’ briefs!!!”

If you could go back and talk to yourself at age 18 what advice would you give yourself?  Or if you are younger than 25 what words of wisdom would you like to tell yourself at age 50?

Breathe. Forget about guys. Be you. Breathe.share your world