The following is a poignant excerpt from my book, In So Many Words, being released next Friday November 4th on Amazon and Shanti Mom for One.
“One day I arrived at yoga in tears. I hated doing that and almost turned around to go home, but I knew better. No matter what, being in yoga, even if I didn’t move a muscle could only make me feel better. I came straight into the office where Kate was greeting her students and of course, she immediately embraced me and asked what was wrong. Well, there was nothing wrong. Nothing is really wrong when you are depressed, anxious, being pumped with hormones, and trying to get through it all. It just is what it is and you can’t explain it to anyone else. My body was in shock, I’m sure. Kate, who had recently studied Reiki, said, “I’ll do some Reiki on you,” and laid her hands on my shoulders and back. Then Mary arrived, saw me hunched over the office counter, and without a word, laid her hands on me as well. While the tears still flowed and the angst remained, my hopes of victory took over. I got through class with little movement and more tears, but I did get through it. The sacred space and the loving touches enveloped me. These women once again wrapped me in their love and told me it was going to be okay.
Before it was all over, my body had endured a total of 53 hormone shots, over a period of two months, in my abdomen and both hips.”
My daughter made me such a proud mommy the other day. A migraine was already making me miserable, yet I managed to hit my head on our granite island while getting something out of a box. Of course, I had a few loud, choice words, but managed to keep them clean. Then the tears came. My daughter gasped from the other side of the room and immediately came to my side.
She hugged my leg and said, “I’m sorry, Mommy.” That would have healed me right there, but she wasn’t done.
She then said, “Mommy, I think you go to couch.” I complied.
She sat down next to me. A few seconds later, she got up, went to her princess house and emerged with her Minnie and Mickey stuffed friends. She placed them in my lap and said, “Here you go, Mommy.”
My daughter is two and will be three in 8 days. It is true that she possesses the same curiosity of all toddlers, which leads to long days of pushing her boundaries, testing my patience, and uttering the word “NO” as if she’s trying to break some record. However, it is also quite true that she has already learned the importance of compassion. She obviously came into this world with that quality, as I believe all babies do, but I must humbly take a tiny bit of credit for encouraging her to care.
Caring for others is always a good choice, especially when others are hurting.
It sure worked for me.
Just yesterday, in Starbucks of all places. It wasn’t a movie or a song. It was my own blog. I started writing a post that I’ve been putting off for exactly this reason. I knew it was going to upset me. Sure enough. Got half way through and started crying. In the comfy leather chair by the window at Starbucks. Oh joy. I hit ‘save draft’ and just sat there covering my face with my hand. Thankfully, it wasn’t a gusher. I got over it and left. Who knows when I’ll visit that draft again.
What a week! Started a new job, got my ‘visitor’ in full force, never had enough time in any day, felt like total crap, couldn’t communicate properly with anybody, wanted to break down in tears just about every five minutes, dealt with my screaming, crying, demanding, belligerent, throwing, biting two year old…need I go on?!?!?
Geez! If this week isn’t better, I give up. Men in white coats, come on. I’m ready.